the world when its 6 am and you havent slept all night
the world when it is 6am and you have just woken up
"To love a TV show is to know one of two things: Either it will eventually leave you, or you will eventually leave it. There’s no middle ground for the committed. Once you’re in, you’re in, and you’re going to be in until the thing is canceled or until you lose interest because you’ve either figured out all of the show’s tricks or it’s just not the same anymore. That show you loved more than anything? It will eventually feel sort of old and pointless to you after a while, and you’ll have moved on to some new thing that feels fresher but will inevitably disappoint you somewhere down the line. And so it goes. You’ll someday remember that show you loved with such intensity—it will probably be off the air by this point—and you’ll wonder idly why they don’t make ’em like that anymore. The answer is because you’re not who you were anymore, and you can’t fall for a show like that because you’re no longer the same person."
"Socializing is as exhausting as giving blood. People assume we loners are misanthropes, just sitting thinking, ‘Oh, people are such a bunch of assholes,’ but it’s really not like that. We just have a smaller tolerance for what it takes to be with others. It means having to perform. I get so tired of communicating."
I had a dream…
Yeah, once upon a time, I had an ambitious dream of working for the U.N. and particularly, development. Now it’s just so far away, namely because that dream clashes with another dream that’s deeply rooted with a lot of needs.
A part of me sighs at my line of work in the private (note: profit) sector. But the job pays well so…I just can’t help but look at how others made it into their service sector happily, and wish I had the same nerve.
So. Finally going to have the new place ready sometime mid year. For now, I’m slumming it while I wait on deliveries and repairs, and then going back home (to where there’s a decent bed) at the end of the day.
I just saw a few seconds of plastic surgery from a clip and ugggggh my body feels weak just looking at it and my hands went numb. I can now officially say I likely can’t stand watching surgery.
Give me innards spilling out leading to an eventual (sudden) death but don’t mess with the body parts slowly. Weird, I know.
My New Year’s Resolutions:
Must be swift as the coursing river
Have all the force of a great typhoon
Have all the strength of a raging fire
Be as mysterious as the dark side of the moon
still ponders how i made it past 10 followers
Sometime in the near future,
you might want to blacklist “Arashi” because I finally went through the one folder my friend left in my harddrive since 2010, and I just marathoned the whole thing for the past week.
Arashi’s going to start showing up on this blog.
I haven’t returned to my Kinki Kids phase yet, which is good. XD
Every single time I feel like I’m just about done with Supernatural (you know that feeling where nothing’s interesting anymore), a random Cas fanart or graphic will pop on my dash and I remember Castiel’s story is still far from done. And that’s about the only thing keeping me.
I realized this because I just saw an awesome fanart of the Winchesters and felt absolutely nothing. No awe, no curiosity, and it was almost sad that I scrolled by it with disinterest the same way I scroll by stuff from other fandoms I’m not concerned about. Then just a few posts after it was a Castiel graphic that made me think of my own unfinished stuff, and the urge is still there to know more about Cas.
the thought of becoming an adult one day is the scariest thing ever why cant i live the rest of my life blogging about fictional characters and laughing at stupid shit
I am going to let you in on the worst-kept secret in fandom: we’re actually mostly adults around here.
I am thirty-two years old. One of my oldest friends is pushing forty. His older sister is forty-six. We all blog about fictional characters and stupid shit. One of the first people who ever GMed a tabletop RPG for me still goes to cons. He’s at least fifty.
We are all, in theory, grown adults who are holding down jobs and have cars or rent or morgage payments or student loans and/or marriages and/or children. We vote and eat bran-tastic food for our hearts and buy sensible shoes.
Also, the first song I danced to at my first Homecoming dance was recently played on a local oldies station, dear god.
I mean, seriously. Grownups. We made it to the other side, fan-brains intact. So can you.
Becoming an adult is not scary. Becoming an adult is not about stopping with the tumbling and the cat videos. It’s just about doing that shit between work and errands instead of between school and chores. It’s about being able to do different kinds of epic shit — I may not be able to write another 50k fanfic, but I can decorate my entire kitchen in Captain America stuff and re-wire my rice cooker so the light looks like an arc reactor.
If you’re worried about no longer being fannish and not liking ridiculous silly shit (I assume ‘for no good reason’, aka ‘growing out of it’), you’re worried about becoming boring, not old.
So what if people call what we do childish? A: they’re wrong, there’s some serious grown-up badassery going ‘round in fandoms, and B: what’s wrong with being childish? Are children something we should avoid being like? Doesn’t everyone wish they could return to childhood?
We are living a friggin’ eternal youth on the internet. Anyone tells you ‘grownups don’t do this stuff’ is just jealous. Hmph.
Now get off my damn lawn, kid.
Frankly, I think being an adult with a fandom life is more fun, simply because we earn enough to actually afford the things we want. Granted, time management is a hard skill to maintain because the responsibility is much bigger, and with harder consequences should we fail.